You realize your house is haunted. What do you do now?

I can't tell you how many times I have received frantic calls or emails along the lines of "my house is haunted, the ghost scares me and my family, how can I get rid of it?" The fact is, nine times out of ten, you can't.

Ghosts are people too. Ok, they are dead people, but still people. They are not demons. They are not fairies. They are people without bodies. When we die, only our physical bodies dissipate. Something of us remains. The energy that is our soul doesn't disappear just because our physical body stops functioning.

In most cases, that energy transforms or goes on to the next step, whatever that may be. But sometimes we aren't able to go on. Maybe we don't accept the death of our physical self. Ghosts are the energy that remains. They are people with dysfunctional personalities. They are still here because they have some kind of psychological hang-up that prevents them from moving on. Some of them were confused when they died. Some died violently and can't accept that. Some are obsessed with something on this level of existence. t could be anything, a person or a place. Some are afraid of divine retribution; they feel that they died in sin.

Most ghosts know they are dead. I have encountered only a handful that didn't, and they were either infants or insane.

Many people freak out when they finally realize their home is haunted. If they are religious they inevitably call in the clergy. The priest or pastor comes over, talks to the family, and then proceeds to bless the house. This isn't a bad thing, unless the ghost happens to have a problem with either God or organized religion. Think about it, if the ghost is hanging around because he or she is afraid they are going to Hell, or mad at God for whatever reason, blessing the house is just asking for trouble. In the case of a megalomaniacal ghost, you are calling his bluff. "So, they think a priest can get rid of me! I'll show them!!!"

Even if the ghost is cool with religion, at the very most all you will accomplish by having your house blessed is calming things down for a bit. Prayer is not going to make the ghost leave. However, prayer can make you feel better about the situation, even empower you. Ghosts are here for personal reasons. I think it's very arrogant of us to think we can make them leave.

So what do you do? Well, first you need to establish the type of haunting. Truly evil hauntings are extremely rare, but they do happen. If your ghost is violent or members of the household are exhibiting signs of possession, your best bet is to leave the house. Move. However, I cant stress how rare that is.

Luckily it's more likely that the ghost is lonely or has an attitude problem. You can learn to deal with those kinds of ghosts.

Talk to the ghost, if it isn't evil. Tell it in a firm voice to leave you alone, to leave your family alone. I recommend allowing it to inhabit an area of your home, ideally one that is usually vacant, like an attic or unused bedroom. Place something in that area for the ghost, such as a candle or a book, anything that signifies the ghost for you, or something that reflects his or her personality. If the ghost is attached to a child, put a toy or a picture of children playing in that area, NOT YOUR CHILD. We don't want the ghost to be fixated on any particular person.

Do whatever you can to comfort yourself and your family. Burn sage, this has been used for thousands of years to clear negativity. Bathe with salt in your water. Some people place salt and sage around their homes. These things are to strengthen the living so that you can deal with the ghost.

There is a prayer that has been used all over the world in different variations. It always comforts and protects. It's called the Universal Light Prayer. The words are:

While you say the words, visualize yourself and your loved ones surrounded by brilliant white light. The light is a barrier, and nothing can come through it to harm you.

If children are involved in the haunting, then you can teach them the prayer. Write it on a piece of paper and put it somewhere in their room where they can see it. It really does work.

The best advice I can give you is to learn to live with the ghost. They can be helpful. Many times ghosts have alerted people to fires or other emergencies. At the very least remember that they are people, and they deserve our respect.