I have many friends in the paranormal field. I'm proud of that fact. While they're mostly from the United States, some are from other parts of the world. Some of them I usually see weekly, some monthly, some even less frequently, and some of those friends I've never met at all. Given the geographic dispersion of these folks, they're bound to have different political, religious, social and paranormal research views.

I really can't think of any person in the paranormal field with whom I can't get along. I don't have a nemesis that I know of. I don't have a rival. There is no one for whom I hold a dark jealousy. There isn't a faction of investigators I avoid. Pagans don't scare me. Wiccans don't make me pray. I was tagged and released by a cryptozoologist once, but none of these folks have ever tried to force me to believe or do anything.

So, why is it so hard from some investigators to get along?

The Enemy of My Enemy...

Hardly a week goes by in which I don't get an email or a phone call from an investigator friend during which they describe how members of another team have caused a negative situation for another of my friends. A post on a website... A property owner warned... A media outlet "contaminated"... A team member threatened... Threats of lawsuits... Sometimes, I get contacted by both sides of the fracas. I try to soothe raw feelings. I attempt to coach people toward trying to see the other side or to make sure the message received was the message intended. It can all get tangled up in electronic communications.

How does it go?

I could go on for pages. The names can be changed, but the personalities stay the same. The trouble here is that these personalities are interacting with varying levels of experience and activity. Some participants are out on investigations every week, meticulously documenting their activities in text, video, and audio. Other participants have never been on an investigation, only reading the accounts of others and religiously scouring the television guide for a new documentary of related material. And you have participants inhabiting every level in between.

There are people who are only interested in running things. There are people who are only interested in visiting the investigation sites, but not really putting in the "sweat equity". There are people who don't even care to visit the investigation sites and just want to exchange stories or look at pictures. There are people who are involved only because of the social and personal support aspect. There are people who are drawn in due to the potential for technical or religious immersion. The reasons are numerous and there's nothing to say that if there's no harm, the reasons are invalid. They could very well be exactly what the specific teams want. It's when the teams and individuals exchange ideas with others that things can get sticky.

Why does it get sticky? It gets sticky because of the lack of courtesy. In my "past lives" as a US Marine, police officer, and IT manager, we employed something called "professional courtesy". It entails things such as provisional trust and not bad-mouthing a colleague in public view. It also entails picking your battles, not burning bridges, networking to benefit all. Not every disappointment or disagreement is a personal affront. And participants can disagree without getting personal. Is someone stupid because they painted their living room a shade of beige, but you like patterned wallpaper? No. It's a difference in tastes or approaches. With all of the uncertainty about paranormal science, it seems we could just agree to disagree in most cases. Until something is proven, no one is an expert.

In the immortal words of Rodney King, "Can't we all just get along?".